Most of us want to be happy, but it is quite difficult to feel "happiness" for long. People get used to things very quickly and lose the emotional excitement they once had. For example, if you really wanted to get a certain job and when you actually got it, you are really happy. Even if everything goes well for you at the new job, you will slowly lose the feeling of "happiness". It just becomes your life.
At least, if we know how to make ourselves unhappy, and if we could avoid being unhappy, we might be able to become "happy" even if we don't know it. So here's the list of things we can do to ourselves to make ourselves unhappy.
Comparing to others
There are lots of things you could measure. That's how we were evaluated at school and at work. However you are not some kind of thing consisting of various measurements against others. You are a unique human being on this earth and no one is like you. Individual's uniqueness is not something you could measure and evaluate. So, stop compare yourself to others. If you find you have less money than your neigbours, or if you are shorter than your brother, or your cousin has better job than yours, don't bother to think about it. If you focus on these comparisons against other people, that is sure to make you unhappy.
Stop feeling about things
When things get too emotional, that could distract your life. For example, if your boss gives you impossible assignments all the time and gives you hard time and embarrasses you in front of others, you might shut yourself down. You are physically there but not really listening to what was said and avoid your boss. If you are honest about yourself and start arguing, that will get you emotionally, so you shut yourself down. More or less, we all do this as we grow up to avoid feelings of being hurt, but shutting yourself down and stop feeling about things have consequences. When you do this, you don't feel nothing, including happiness. You think you don't feel "unhappiness" because you don't feel anything, but actually this will lead to emptiness and unhappiness eventually. It is hard to keep balance of being emotional and being in control, but try to let go of your emotion once in a while.
Feeling sorry for yourself
When comparing yourself to people who do better than you in some way might make you feel unworthy, but sometimes comparing yourself to someone less fortunate than you could help you stop feeling sorry for yourself. People often focus on negatives and "don't have" things, but never knew how much they "have". I have seen people who think that he is the most unfortunate person in the whole world. When you listen to his logic, lots of things are basically self inflicted or things he could have changed, or he can change, but stick to what appears to be the "right thing" and "cause of misery". For example, a single mother who cries over her financial situation never thought her "physical health" and "loving children" were something to be grateful. There are people who lost their children and will be glad to be in her shoes, or people with terminal illness who wanted to get back one more year of healthy life. Look around and find what you "have" in your life.
Image by quinn.anya on flickr
No comments:
Post a Comment